The Answer is Pie
by Catalina Leigh
Summary: While John is on enforced leave after the expedition's return to Earth, Cam decides his friend has moped enough and drags John off his couch and on a road trip to Kansas for 'Mama's pie'. *set during The Return Pt. 1*


**Disclaimer: I own nothing. :(**

 **A/N: So, I got busy with work (3 jobs is kinda crazy), but I'm trying to be better about time management and making time for writing. I started this last week on Thanksgiving, and finished it today since I'm sick and couldn't do a whole lot. This is a Cam/John friendship piece set during The Return Pt. 1, right after the expedition gets sent back to Earth. Since we didn't get to see much of Cam's parents in the show, I kinda just took that leeway and ran with it. The rest of SG-1, and Jack, also make appearances :)**

 **Enjoy!**

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The Answer is Pie

The dulled thwack when the pillow hit its mark was followed by a groan.

"Come on man." Cam loomed over his new roommate. "Look, you know I got your back Shep. But you've been layin' on this couch, feelin' sorry for yourself for days. Time to get up."

There was a unintelligible grumble before John opened his eyes and moved his arm to stare up at the other man. "What else am I supposed to do? Landry banned me and my people from the SGC until the brass figures out what to do with us."

Cam sat down on the coffee table with a heavy sigh. "So, your solution is to hide out and do nothing?" He raised a pointed eyebrow.

Letting out a long breath, John stared at the ceiling. When he finally spoke, his voice was quiet. "You and I both know I don't do so well on Earth. Hell, if it hadn't been for Atlantis, I'd still be freezing my ass off at the bottom of the world, or out of the Air Force altogether." He shot a sideways glance over at Cam. "And it's the only reason they can't force me out now. But we both know they're gonna give me the worst assignment they can without making it look like a punishment."

Swallowing, Cam nodded slowly. He didn't speak for a minute, and waited until after John had thrown his arm back over his eyes. "So…what? You're just gonna let them win? Either leave the Air Force voluntarily or do what you always do and get yourself into trouble and then they kick you out?"

John didn't reply, but Cam saw his jaw clench.

Shaking his head, Cam grabbed the pillow and smacked him again.

"Hey!" John was quick; he'd taken the pillow before Cam could even start to pull it back. He was also glaring at the other man.

Cam stood up, grabbing John's shoulder to pull him up into a sitting position as he did so. "You know what you need?"

John's brows furrowed and he narrowed his eyes at the grin on his friend's face.

"Mama's pie."

Now the other pilot's brows had risen high enough to be hidden by the bird's nest he called hair.

"I'll call Sam, get her to cover for us. We'll each pack a bag, and be on the road in an hour." Cam didn't wait for a reply, just turned and headed back to his room before John could even open his mouth.

—

"Hey, Carter, you seen Mitchell?"

Sam looked up at Jack as he entered her lab.

The general narrowed his eyes — he knew that look on her face. "Hank was looking for him, but Walter said something about him calling in sick…" He trailed off, then smirked when he saw the twinkle in her eyes. "Ok, spill."

Smile tugging at her lips, Sam shrugged. "He called and asked me to cover for them for a few days."

Jack raised his eyebrows. "'Them'?"

Now, Sam was grinning. "Cam and John are on their way to Kansas."

"As in…?" When Sam nodded, Jack started grinning too. "I almost feel bad for Sheppard."

—

"Weird, huh?"

John raised his eyebrows and tilted his head toward Cam, who couldn't see his eyes behind the sunglasses.

Stealing a handful of fries, Cam nodded. "Right. Definitely weird."

Huffing, John took a drink of his soda as he turned back to the passing scenery. "Cam…I've spent most of the past two years living in a city floating in the middle of an ocean. Now…" He waved a hand at the cornfields on either side of the road.

Cam sighed. "And you didn't have brass breathing down your neck." His voice was soft, but John nodded slowly. Glancing over at his friend, who was still staring out the window, Cam smacked his shoulder. "Hey. Don't go makin' any hasty decisions." Then he smirked when John looked at him. "At least not till after pie."

John was shaking his head — and Cam would swear rolling his eyes behind the sunglasses — but the corners of his mouth were twitching.

—

"Cam!" Wendy Mitchell grinned widely when she opened the door to find her son standing on the porch.

Cam grinned back, and bent down to scoop her up in a hug. "Hey Mom."

"Oh, and John!" Wendy's eyes widened in surprise when she caught the other man trying to stay out of sight. She let go of her son and stepped toward the dark haired pilot. "Come here you."

John knew an order when he heard it, and gave her a shy smile. "Yes, Ma'am."

She gave him a quick squeeze, and then pulled back, holding onto his shoulders while she looked up into his eyes. After a moment — where she could feel him trying not to fidget — Wendy gave him a soft smile. "It's been far too long since you came to visit."

Keeping his eyes off Cam, who was grinning and holding back a snicker, John swallowed and nodded with what he hoped was his 'play nice with the natives' face — though the twinkle in Wendy's eyes told him that she saw right through it, just like always. "Yes, Ma'am."

Playfully whacking him on the chest with the back of her hand, Wendy rolled her eyes. "Now, what have I told you? None of that 'Ma'am' nonsense. You call me Wendy or Mom, you hear?"

Looking appropriately abashed, John nodded. "Yes, Ma—" He paused and smiled when she raised an eyebrow at him. "Yes, Wendy."

Smirking, Wendy nodded. "Better." Looking at both of her boys, she gestured into the house. "Now, get in here. You two can help me fix lunch while I get started on a pie." She gave John a sideways glance before heading toward the kitchen. "You look like you could use a good pie."

When she turned the corner, John glared at Cam, who finally released his chuckle.

Cam held out his hands in a half shrug as he grinned at his friend. "Told ya."

"Shut up!" John shoved him into the house, which just made Cam laugh more.

—

"I take it this leave you're on wasn't your idea, was it?" Frank sipped his tea. He'd spoken lightly, but there was a knowing quality to his words.

Wendy frowned at him, her eyes chiding.

Cam glanced at his friend, but John just smiled ruefully. "No, Sir. Our recall was pretty sudden, so the brass is still trying to figure out what to do with us."

"Well, we're glad you came." Wendy spoke firmly, sending a warning look to her husband. Looking back at the boys, she smiled fondly. "How long has it been since you were here last?"

John and Cam glanced at each other. "Before Afghanistan."

Nodding, Wendy pointed at John. "See. Too long." Her words were a reprimand, but they were softened by the smile on her face.

Raising his hands in surrender, John nodded. "Yes, Ma'am." He quickly corrected himself as she opened her mouth. "Yes, Wendy."

Frank was smirking, sharing a look with Cam as his son covered his mouth in a poor attempt to hide the strangled snicker.

Rolling her eyes at them, and ignoring John's glare at Cam, Wendy shook her head and stood up from the table. "Well, the pie will be ready shortly. I have to go take the laundry out of the dryer. You boys behave while I'm gone."

All three nodded, and didn't say anything as she exited the kitchen.

Once she was out of range, Cam smirked widely at his friend.

John rolled his eyes. "Shut up."

Shaking his head at the two, Frank sipped on his tea again before speaking. "Now, listen up John."

Both John and Cam's heads snapped to the older man.

"I know what's going through that head of yours, so I'll tell you the same thing I told Cam when he wanted to leave the Air Force."

John's eyes shot to Cam, but his friend was looking down as he leaned back in his chair.

Frank ignored the exchange. "What else are you gonna do? You know you wouldn't be happy flying commercial planes, or giving civilians helicopter tours."

Looking down, John rubbed the back of his neck as he shrugged. "Be better than riding a desk."

"Bull."

Both younger men looked up at the vehement response.

"You'll ride out whatever crap assignment they give you until you can get back to what you love." Frank raised his cup. "Just like you did in Antarctica."

While the older man sipped his tea, John's gaze snapped to Cam, who returned the 'what the hell' look with an apologetic one.

"Give it time." This time Frank's eyes were gentle.

—

"See!" Cam grinned as he smacked John on the arm as they were storing their stuff in the guest room. "Don't you feel better now?"

Rolling his eyes, John grabbed a pillow and whacked his friend in the head with it.

Cam chuckled, and put the pillow back on the bed.

John gave a reluctant facial shrug. "Your mom _does_ make amazing pie."

Smirking, Cam nodded. "Told ya. Best cure ever."

Shaking his head, John huffed and dropped down onto the bed, laying back to stare at the ceiling. "You know I like your parents."

Sighing, Cam's shoulders sagged. " _But_?"

Looking over at the other man, John met his eyes but didn't speak.

Taking a deep breath, Cam dropped down on the bed next to him. "Look, I know why it's weird for you, but they're your family too. You know Mom adopted you after your first visit." He said the last part with a smirk, amusement lacing his voice.

John rolled his eyes. "Still weird." He was grumbling, but not arguing.

Cam laid back as well, cocking his head as he noticed the stain on the ceiling John was staring at — a mishap from his childhood that involved paint and his brother. Shaking away the memory, Cam looked over at his friend. "Sam got us a break for a few days. So, we stay here, and head back day after tomorrow." When John threw an arm over his face, Cam nudged him. "You need this, and you know it."

Heaving a sigh, John moved his arm and looked at Cam. "Your dad's not gonna give anymore 'pep talks', is he?"

Chuckling, Cam shrugged. "Hell if I know. I didn't expect that one."

It was silent, but Cam saw John's torso shaking from chuckling too; the corner of John's mouth was even turned up in a smirk, and Cam counted it as a win.

—

John let out a long sigh as he dropped down on the couch after they made it back to Cam's apartment.

Cam chuckled. "Oh come on. My parents aren't that exhausting."

Cracking an eye open, John raised an eyebrow at him. "Cam… _you're_ exhausting."

Scowling, Cam picked up one of the pillows and whacked his friend with it, causing John to chuckle.

"At least we got extra pie." John was smirking.

Cam nodded his agreement, eyes slightly glassing over as he smiled with delight.

John shook his head, but before he could comment, there was a knock on the door.

The two men shared a glance.

"Were you expecting someone?" John was halfway to standing when Cam waved him back down.

"No, but I'm sure it's just Sam checking up on us." Cam shrugged as he made his way to the door.

John didn't seem reassured by that. And he shot up as soon as he heard the surprise in Cam's voice when he greeted his team.

"What are you guys doing here?" Cam's brows were furrowed, as he ignored Sam's smirk and Daniel's eye roll.

"It is your turn to host movie night, Colonel Mitchell." Teal'c bowed his head slightly as he made his way past the team leader.

Sam shot him a look that was both apologetic and amused as she followed the Jaffa and archaeologist into the apartment.

Vala grinned at him. "And I heard you've been hiding a certain floppy haired colonel."

She was gone before Cam could open his mouth.

Jack clapped him on the shoulder. "You _did_ bring Sheppard back alive, didn't you?" The general's tone was jovial, but there was an undercurrent of 'you better have' behind the words.

Cam shrugged helplessly. "He _was_ alive, Sir. Can't say anything for the past minute though."

Jack grinned, clapped his shoulder again, and continued on inside.

Sighing heavily, Cam looked upward for a moment before following.

When he got back to the living room, John was disentangling himself from Vala, but still smiling good-naturedly.

Vala turned to Cam, grinning widely. "I heard you brought back some of your mother's fantastic pie!"

Cam shot John a dirty look. "Traitor."

John shrugged. "She appreciates good pie." There was a spark of amusement playing in his eyes.

"Don't we all?"

Looking over at the general, Cam held back a sigh as he gave a resigned shrug. "Alright, I'll go get the pie."

Jack waved him off. "Nah. Sheppard and I got it. You make sure your team picks a good movie."

Sharing a glance with John, Cam saw the cornered look, but there was nothing he could do.

John reluctantly led the general to the kitchen, while the others started going through Cam's DVD collection and arguing the merits of the different films.

Once they were out of earshot of the others, and John was pulling the pie out of the fridge, Jack leaned back against the counter and just watched the younger man.

Setting the pie on the counter, John reached back into the refrigerator and pulled out a beer. He held it up in offering to the general, who nodded and took it with a smile.

As John pulled out another beer for himself, Jack took a sip of his beer. "So…Good trip?" The general's voice was light, and his posture was in a slouch, but John saw the knowing twinkle in his eyes.

Sighing, the younger man leaned back against the opposite counter, and shrugged. "Cam's mom makes great pie."

Jack smirked at the casual and evasive reply. "So I take it I'm not gonna have to shred your resignation letter?"

John's eyes shot to the older man. The question was so nonchalant, yet so blunt, it took the colonel by surprise. Then he remembered who he was dealing with, and sighed, taking a swig of his beer.

Sighing, Jack set down the beer and stared at the younger man. "You can't quit now Sheppard." The general had dropped the act, and his tone was serious.

Huffing, John kept his eyes on the beer bottle as he picked at the label before looking up and meeting the older man's eyes. "Why not?"

"Because I won't let you." Jack smirked, and ignored John's raised eyebrows. "You can either take the gate team leader position you're about to be offered, or I can drag you to Washington with me and make you deal with the same headaches I have to." He was still smirking, but he was dead serious.

John didn't move for a moment before rolling his eyes, and puffing out a single wry chuckle as he returned his gaze back to the general's. "I'd shoot someone in Washington."

Jack grinned. "I wouldn't stop you."

Smirking, John shook his head, and turned to grab plates out of the cabinet behind him.

The general picked up the pie, and waited while John grabbed forks out of the drawer. Jack waited until the younger man turned back around before he shrugged. "At least here you already have a place to crash, and you get to wear BDUs every day."

John paused and watched him head back to the living room, having heard the unspoken 'and still go through the gate.'

When he got to the living room, everyone was already sitting around and grabbed for plates and forks as the previews played on the TV.

Sharing a look with Cam, John returned the concerned one with a 'it's fine' one as he took a spot on the couch and let Vala curl up next to him.

Cam nodded back subtly, then shared a small smile with Sam, who was giving him a knowing look, before they all turned their attention to the movie.

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 **A/N: Hope you liked this little piece! (You know I couldn't _not_ have a talk with Jack and John lol) As always, reviews are greatly appreciated!**


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